When learning the game of golf it is very important that rookies gain tips from those experienced at the sport. I was lucky enough to learn from one of my college professors, because no one is better at golf than old, tenured professors. What follows is the tips that I gained during my first time on the links. I sure learned a lot about golf!
“Ok Casey, the first rule of golf is that it is custom for the person who is losing the current round to carry the other person’s clubs. Since this is your first time, here are mine.”
“I did that last shot to show you how not to swing the club. Now help me look for my ball in the tall grass.”
“No Casey, there are no rattlesnakes out here. I think it went in that area.”
“Yes, I saw what you did. And it’s easy to hit the flag from 40 yards out. What is much more difficult is how I overshot the green and hit that goose. Now help me find my ball.”
“You see, when you’re an expert like me, however many strokes you take on the green, you’re allowed to divide in half. But you have to be bestowed this rule. Consider it a rite of passage.”
“Oh, and when you’re an expert you can have a mulligan whenever you see fit.”
“No Casey, I’m not making up these rules.”
“I didn’t invent this game either. How old do you think I am?”
“It’s not a good idea to yell that you saw a rattlesnake. Now help me down from the roof of these people’s golf cart.”
“When the ball goes in that pond over there, whoever is carrying both sets of clubs gets to dive in and gather it back. Oh, and while you’re in there, try to find some more.”
“Again, I didn’t invent the game, so I didn’t call them woods despite not being made of wood.”
“Yes, I’m sure golf might be more fun if there were clowns mouths to hit the ball through. But that would take away the purity of the game.”
“Of course I saw that the hunk of grass flew much further than my ball did! I’m the one that hit it! Now help me fill in this divit!”
“No Casey, it’s not my turn to carry the sets of clubs. What do you mean you’re ahead? I think you must be mistaken.”
“I told you, as an expert I’m allowed a mulligan whenever I see fit.”
“No, I don’t think I should have to yell ‘Mulligan!’ instead of ‘Fore!’ when I swing.”
“I understand that the game would go a lot faster if I’d stop hitting my ball in the sand. But then how would you ever learn?”
“Looking over this score card I shot par on every hole. That was a good round.”
“Well thanks Casey. That was nice of you to say. I’m glad that you learned so much about this great game and that you’re so interested in it that you’re going to get lessons. We’ll have to go again sometime.”